


My Greatest Sin

by orphan_account



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, and a lot of intense making out, charlotte lowkey ships it, ducks ruin everything, mostly just heaps of fluff, will and jem are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 17:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6479578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will and Jem go on a sweet little picnic together and forbidden feelings are resurfaced.</p><p>  <i>'One cannot simply say no to James Carstairs, especially not Will himself. He was more than willing to undergo any endeavour, no matter how strenuous, to keep him happy. For when Jem was happy, Will was doubly so.'</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	My Greatest Sin

The cool spring breeze ran it’s soothing fingers through Jem’s silvery hair as he lay peacefully on the blanket placed upon the grass. He and Will had decided it was beautiful weather for a picnic. Well, Jem had. Will was not too keen for this park was known for it’s vast population of ducks. However, any resistance or opposition on Will’s part was dissipated completely by the look of pure joy on Jem’s face at the thought of a picnic. One cannot simply say no to James Carstairs, especially not Will himself. He was more than willing to undergo any endeavour, no matter how strenuous, to keep him happy. For when Jem was happy, Will was doubly so. Even if that happiness came from spending the afternoon in a duck-infested park.

He sat now, watching Jem with an inexplicable mixture of want, admiration and pure unadulterated, well, love. There was no point in denying his true feelings any longer for they were apparently rather evident. Will was aware such love was forbidden, but one cannot simply switch one’s feelings on and off at will.

“Is there any particular reason you’re staring at me, William?” Jem asked, humour tinging his gentle voice. Will’s heart gave a lurch of surprise; he was so lost in his thoughts the sound of another voice had startled him. Especially when it was Jem. Lying there, perfectly content in just his company. Calling him William. A shudder ran over Will’s body as he attempted to shake away his urges.

“How could you possibly know of what I am looking at? Your eyes are still closed. For all you know I could have been admiring that tree over there, not you. Trees are very beautiful this time of year.” Will refuted, feeling like a child who was just caught doing something he should not have been. Jem opened his eyes, amusement written all over his face, “well, who said anything about admiration?”

“I-well your face is incredibly captivating, what is there not to admire?” He said lightheartedly, at least that is how he hoped it sounded. Really, he meant every word expressed. Jem’s cheeks coloured ever so slightly.

There was a time where they had both loved each other freely, for they were young and clueless; unaware of the rules and constrictions of parabatai. Or perhaps they were aware and simply did not understand the severity of those rules.

He remembered vividly the time in the training room as 13 year olds when Jem had been showing him how to wield a knife, after having mastered the throwing of one. He was beneath Jem, who was teaching him how to get the upper hand of any situation. His hormonal teenage body had not cooperated properly with his emotional suppression, for Jem then said “Will… Why is your knife held at my - oh!” Will’s embarrassment was profuse, but he took that moment of surprise to quickly roll over so he was atop Jem; his knife held to his neck; their bodies flushed together breathing heavily; their faces close together. “You seem to have forgotten rule number one, James,” Will had murmured, leaning in closer, “Don’t get distracted.”

“That is easier said than done when one is training with you, William.” The words felt like a gentle caress, whereby the meaning of William changed when spoken by Jem. Looking back now, he wasn’t quite sure who it was that had first initiated and such detail was hardly important when one was being kissed by James Carstairs. Of course, it was nice to think it was Jem that had made the first move but the gesture had been quite universal. He remembered their first kiss as if it were yesterday: with their knives cast away to the floor, Jem’s hands were in Will’s hair; his own balancing his weight to make sure too much of it was not being placed upon Jem; the feeling of Jem’s soft lips against his own and the feeling of pure ecstasy that flowed through his body. It was at the moment the kiss had deepened that Jessamine had walked in and squealed. Their heads had both whipped up and Will’s mind whirred for a cover story. “Jem stopped breathing I was just performing some life saving CPR,” he had said casually, receiving a smirk from Jem.

“Will?” Jem said now, snapping him out of his reverie. “Are you feeling okay? You had adopted quite the look of vacancy for a moment.” He was sitting up now, a lot closer to Will than before; close enough that he could see the genuine worry in his parabatai’s eyes.

“I am quite alright, I was simply recalling the time we-” He cut himself off abruptly. What was he about to say? ‘Just thinking of the time I had gotten unusually aroused and we kissed for the first time.’ It had not been the last of their shared moments of physical intimacy, of course, but it had been their first and for that it was a treasured memory to him. He wondered if Jem thought of the same memories with as much affection as Will himself did.

“Just thinking of when we what?” Jem prompted. There was an almost hopeful glint in his eyes that narrowly suggested maybe, just maybe he did think of those memories with an equal affection. Will searched Jem’s open face for any clear evidence that perhaps he cared for him in that same way now.

“The time,” Will said, holding Jem’s gaze to see if any recognition or other emotion appeared, “I beat you in a knife fight at the age of 13 after I had mastered throwing one. With your expertise, of course.” A slight pink had begun to spread over Jem’s face and his eyes flickered quickly toward the floor, ever so slightly biting his lip, before looking back up. “I do recall it, it was also the day Jessamine had caught us in a rather compromising position, which fuelled your dislike for her.”

“Comprising indeed,” Will mused, his eyes locked to Jem’s. “You know I had been rather comfortable before her rude interruption.”

“Oh that I’m sure you were.” It was silent for a moment and Will would have worried he had put Jem in an uncomfortable position, had it not been for the mischievous look in his eyes. “My legs are beginning to cramp, how about we take a walk?” Will was in no mood to walk; the memories of their past had brought an aching pain of want back to him. However, Jem was already standing, leaning to him with his hand outstretched and Will was unable to protest. He took his parabatai’s outstretched hand gratefully, using it to get up himself. Before he even had the chance to position himself into that of a squat, Jem seemed to have lost his balance and they fell in a heap to the floor.

“I believe this was the comprising position was it not?” Jem murmured to him, his eyes flickering from Will’s eyes to his lips. A shiver went over Will at the gesture and the fact that evidently Jem had done this on purpose. “No, I believe it was more like this,” he replied almost breathlessly, turning them over so he was now above Jem. Their faces were so close together that he could almost taste the familiar burnt sugar that lingered on Jem’s breath. “That was foul play, Mr. Carstairs.”

“I learn from the best,” he responded with a playful smirk, his breath ghosting Will’s lips. They were in a secluded area of the park which meant they were safe from prying eyes and with this reassurance, Will surged forward with confidence and joint their lips together in a long awaited kiss. They always had to be so cautious of interruptions at the Institute, careful not to make too much noise or kiss too openly.

He remembered as 16 year olds when they had been on the floor of Jem’s room, clothes discarded around them, much like the position they were in now. Except of course, with no clothing save their underwear. Charlotte had walked in to tell them something she must have thought to be of grave importance to enter in such a manner. Luckily they had been on the other side of the bed to the door and were therefore hidden from view. Her eyes had widened at the mess in Jem’s usually spotless room. His covers were half off the bed and greatly crumpled, not to mention the clothes strewn carelessly all over the place.

“Jem? Will?” She had called out to which Will had groaned inaudibley, causing his warm breath to caress Jem’s neck - where he had just been trailing with his lips - and slowly moved his hands away from the waistband of Jem’s underwear. Even Jem had looked slightly annoyed at this interruption, but he sat up to greet Charlotte nonetheless. Will had gotten up begrudgingly and thrown a look of pure menace at Charlotte. “What is going on here, boys?” She had asked in confusion. Luckily she could see nothing other than their heads and bare shoulders.

“It’s dreadfully hot today, so we were simply attempting to cool ourselves by lying by the open window.” Jem had covered, knowing Charlotte would be sceptical of anything that left Will’s lips. She had studied them both then, from their tousled hair to their flushed cheeks to their chests rising and falling slightly faster than usual.

“Boys…” Charlotte began, but thank the Angel that Henry had called for her desperately at that moment to show her another invention, cutting off whatever reprimand she was going to serve them. Unwillingly, she had turned away from them and shut the door behind her. The two parabatai sighed in relief and Jem had quickly grabbed his stele to draw a rune of secrecy on the door before again taking his place next to Will.

“Now,” Will had breathed, wrapping his arms around Jem’s slim waist to pull him against himself, “where were we?” They had removed the final barrier of clothing between themselves now that the worry of someone entering unannounced was prohibited. It wasn’t their first time, but it had been their last, for the next day Charlotte had left the Codex for them open on the parabatai page where the rules and punishments of such grave severity had been highlighted.

They knew it had not been a threat, merely Charlotte warning them to be careful, but from that moment on they had been careful not to get too close. Though there had always been the longing looks; the touches that lasted too long; moments when they sat too close and times when they had been close enough to kiss once again that required all their will-power to avoid happening.

Now, their lips moved with newfound fervour, making up for lost time. Their lips parted and Will let out a sigh of content. This is how it was supposed to be between the two of them; it’s what felt right. Ever since Jem had shown how strong he really was despite his fragile exterior, teaching Will how to throw knives, he had felt something he had never felt before: love. Different to the love of a family member. Will put forth all this emotion into the kiss, cupping Jem’s face with his hands, tracing the familiar planes of his face. There was a rustle in the bushes and a noise Will despised more than anything in the world: a quack.

His head whipped up, startling Jem whose eyes flew open, to see a duck standing there helping itself to their sandwiches. Will’s face fell as he sat there horrorstruck. The duck seemed to sense him looking because it looked up and quacked at him before wadling away. The ground beneath Will began to shake slightly and he realised it was simply Jem laughing. “I hate ducks with a passion that burns brighter than the sun,” Will mumbled, only extricating a heartier laugh from his parabatai and he couldn’t help it, he began laughing too because - save the duck - things were very near perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm such heronstairs trash. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Let me know by leaving kudos and comments :)


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